This is Mrs May.
Out in the playground at the end of the school day one afternoon, a well-meaning bystander tells Mrs May how lucky she is to be a teacher, how teaching isn’t really a job, it’s a vocation, particularly with all those Long Holidays teachers get, why, it’s hardly like working at all!
“Sometimes,” said Pooh, crossly, “I just wish I was like Other People.”
“What do you mean?” asked Piglet in surprise.
This is Mum.
Mum has had one of those days where, frankly, she does not know what ever possessed her to merrily hurl her contraceptive pill down the toilet and let Dad anywhere near her with his swollen appendage in order for them to breed.
This is Mrs May.
Mrs May has made it to the end of another half term.
During this half term, Mrs May’s fixed smile has never wavered.
Piglet let himself into Pooh’s house to find his friend lying on the floor under his kitchen table with a blanket over his head.
It is Sunday evening.
This is Mum.
Mum is looking forward to a quiet relaxing evening in front of the television.
It is a sunny day.
This is Mum.
“Let’s all go outside and have a family day in the sun,” says Mum.
This is Mum.
Mum remembers back to when Biff and Chip were babies.
It was not a fun time.
This is Mum.
Mum is fucking exhausted.
Mum is fucking exhausted because she last had an unbroken night’s sleep more than seven years ago.
This is Biff.
This is Chip.
This is Biff and Chip’s homework.
Biff and Chip are required to write down ten examples of fronted adverbials.
Biff and Chip have not a fucking clue what a fronted adverbial is.
