Always wanted to know which IKINTST family member you’re most like? Try this handy quiz.
1) You need to tidy your room. Do you:
A – Go straight upstairs and tidy it, efficiently disposing of any rubbish as you do so.
B – Procrastinate for about three months. Finally crack and go upstairs intending to tidy it. Get immediately distracted by a pile of old papers. Achieve precisely nothing.
C – Go into your bedroom. Look around it at the chaos. Tip out your drawers to add some additional chaos to the mix. Sit in the middle of the chaos and play happily.
D – Push as much debris as you can under other stuff. Take the remainder of it and put it into other people’s bedrooms. Proudly announce that your room is tidy.
2) You’re asked to choose your last supper. What do you pick?
A – Sandwiches and a big slice of Victoria sponge
B – Champagne and smoked salmon
C – Lasagne and doughnuts
D – Spaghetti hoops and ice cream
3) You are running late. What do you do?
A – You’re not running late. You’re never late.
B – Panic and run around a lot shouting. Swear profusely.
C – Wander around in a happy daze and spend an extra ten minutes that you don’t have staring at your own shoes, for no particular reason that you can fathom.
D – Sing loudly and not give a shit.
4) You’ve just had a bath. How do you leave the bathroom?
A – Clean, tidy, and with everything in its proper place.
B – Damp, and smelling heavily of Chanel.
C – Fucking soaking, and smelling heavily of poo. Oh, and with every last towel drenched to within an inch of its life and scrunched up in a damp heap on the floor.
D – You don’t. You stay in there for at least another thirty minutes, singing loudly and covering yourself in expensive moisturiser and serum.
5) The toilet roll has run out. What do you do?
A – Replace it, of course. Put the empty roll in the recycling bin and then ensure you add a new pack of toilet roll to the next Ocado order, just to be on the safe side.
B – Scream and swear about the lazy bastards who can’t even be bothered to get a new toilet roll out of the cupboard and put it on the toilet roll holder. Be so busy screaming and swearing that you forget to get a new one out yourself. Leave the empty toilet roll for the next person to deal with.
C – Toilet roll? What toilet roll?
D – Shout aggressively until someone comes and resolves the issue for you.
6) What are you hoping to get for Christmas?
A – CDs or DVDs.
B – Gin.
C – Lego.
D – A real dragon.
7) Your clothes are dirty. What’s your plan?
A – Take them off, put them into the washing machine, wash them, tumble dry them and put them away neatly.
B – Add them to the ever-increasing Clothes Mountain in the corner of your bedroom. Eventually admit defeat when you have no clean clothes left to wear and pull an all nighter doing approximately twenty-seven different loads of washing.
C – Keep wearing them.
D – Shove them all down the back of your bed until your entire bedroom smells of blue cheese and maggots. Deny all responsibility.
8) You’re inadvertently woken up extremely early in the morning by another member of the family. What do you do?
A – Give them a huge hug and tell them how much you love them.
B – Curse their very existence and vow to cut them out of your will.
C – Briefly sigh, then realise this gives you additional hours to play on your computer and immediately forgive them.
D – Be FURIOUS.
9) The rubbish bin is full. What do you do?
A – Empty it, of course. And put a new bin bag in for the next person.
B – Look around for someone, anyone else who will empty it. Realise there is no one else. Swear a lot. Pull the bag out. Get baked beans and general food debris all over yourself. Swear a lot more. Make a meal out of the whole process and then post on social media demanding people praise you for your independent Emptying Of The Bin.
C – Squeeze all of the rubbish down inside the bin. Do this repeatedly until the bag splits and rubbish spills all over the floor. Leave it and let someone else deal with it.
D – Look at it derisively and throw your rubbish on the floor
10) What do you want to be when you grow up?
A – Happy.
B – Sane.
C – Rich.
D – Beth.
Mostly As. You are Mr IKINTST. Congratulations. The world needs more Mr IKINTSTs.
Mostly Bs. You are me. You poor, unfortunate souls. Fancy a gin?
Mostly Cs. You are Jamie. Lovely, innocent, dazed and confused soul that he is.
Mostly D. You’re screwed. I mean, you’re Beth. Good fucking luck with that.