You have one half of a cake and another one half of a cake. How much cake do you have in total?
a) One cake
b) Two cakes
c) Don’t know, fractions are stupid
Which of these are “alien” words?
d) Michael Gove Is Qualified To Set The National Curriculum
At the start of term Jamie has one pair of shoes. At the end of the first week of term Jamie’s shoes have a hole in. Jamie’s mum buys him a new pair of shoes. If term is eight weeks long, and this pattern is repeated, how many pairs of shoes will Jamie’s mum have bought him by the end of the term?
a) One pair
b) Sixteen pairs
c) Eight pairs
d) None: Jamie should have taken better care of his shoes and this will teach him a valuable life lesson
What is a fronted adverbial?
a) Something the Government have made up to ruin the lives of teachers, parents and students alike
b) A describing word which goes at the start of a sentence
c) Utterly pointless
Beth has been asked to brush her teeth, do her hair and put on her shoes. Each of these tasks will take Beth five minutes. How long will it take Beth to be ready to leave the house?
a) Five minutes
b) Fifteen minutes
c) ALL ETERNITY
According to your parents, it is “time for bed”. How much time does that mean you actually have before you need to get into bed?
a) One minute
b) Ten minutes
c) Two hours
d) When you say time, what do you mean by time, why is time, and actually, can you explain the meaning of life to me and what do you mean bed, you never mentioned bed, and, also, why?
Which is the correct way to brush your teeth?
a) Take your toothbrush, apply toothpaste, brush
b) Take your toothbrush, apply toothpaste, stare at it aimlessly
c) Take your toothbrush, take your toothpaste, hurl toothpaste around the bathroom, ooh, Lego!
Your mum tells you to tidy your room. What does she mean?
a) Um, tidy your room
b) Shove all of the toys on the floor in your room under your bed
c) Put out some additional pieces of Lego in prime positions to become embedded in the sole of the foot of the next person to cross the threshold
d) Take out as many new toys as you can; spread them across the room; stare into space
Do you have any homework?
c) What homework?