It is Sunday evening.
This is Mum.
Mum is looking forward to a quiet relaxing evening in front of the television.
Author: aswadmt
Biff, Chip and Kipper and the Sunny Day
It is a sunny day.
This is Mum.
“Let’s all go outside and have a family day in the sun,” says Mum.
Maternal Mental Health Week
This is Mum.
Mum remembers back to when Biff and Chip were babies.
It was not a fun time.
Biff Chip and Kipper and the Good Night’s Sleep
This is Mum.
Mum is fucking exhausted.
Mum is fucking exhausted because she last had an unbroken night’s sleep more than seven years ago.
Biff Chip and Kipper and the Fronted Adverbials
This is Biff.
This is Chip.
This is Biff and Chip’s homework.
Biff and Chip are required to write down ten examples of fronted adverbials.
Biff and Chip have not a fucking clue what a fronted adverbial is.
Winnie The Pooh: Why Do We Have To Have Mondays?
“I just don’t understand, Piglet,” said Pooh.
“What’s that, old pal?”
“Well, why do we have to have Mondays? They’re just so… unnecessary.”
My Wedding Anniversary – 27 March
I woke up in the early hours of this morning to hear the rain gently pouring down outside the window, tapping windows and leaves wherever it fell.
It seemed apt, because exactly twelve years ago today, I also woke up in the early hours of the morning to hear the rain gently pouring down.
Biff Chip and Kipper and the Play Date
This is Chip.
Chip has his friend Wilf round for a ‘play date’.
This is Mum.
Mum is deeply concerned by the ramifications of an additional small child entering her home, not to mention appalled by the twee twattishness of the phrase ‘play date’, but was eventually worn down by Chip’s promises that Wilf is “really good”.
Chip lied.
Winnie The Pooh: The Easter Diet
“So, I suppose the diet has to start today,” said Pooh glumly, looking at the still substantial pile of uneaten Easter eggs they had amassed between them.
“Um…why?” said Piglet.
“Because…well, you know. This,” said Pooh, grabbing a generous handful of his gut and squeezing it between his fingers.
Fireman Sam and the Home Insurance Quote
“Just got my home insurance renewal through.”
“Up again, is it?”
“For the seventeenth year in a row.”
