This week has been stupid.
So, what happened was that Mum wrote a story about her front bottom and that green soap in the bathroom. Apparently the green soap made her front bottom go on fire. I know this is a lie because none of our fire alarms went off.
Dear Diary,
It has been another very irritating week. Continue reading
Dear Diary,
It has been another stupid week.
Last week it was half term. In half term you do not have to go to school. The first half of half term was really good. This was because Dad was in charge, and so basically I could watch as much TV as I wanted to. Mum says that if I watch too much TV it will be bad for me. This is because Mum has no idea of what it is like to have fun. Continue reading
Dear Diary,
It was an excellent weekend.
Basically I was the best footballer in the world. Mum loves Saturdays. She gets to get up when it is still dark and take me to swimming and Jamie to swimming and then Jamie to football and then me to football and then this weekend she got to take me to EXTRA football because I was the mascot for a proper football team and I was brilliant. I kicked the ball a lot on the real football pitch and then I said the F word because that is what footballers do, and also Mum couldn’t tell me off because she wasn’t the referee.
