This is Mum.
Some days, Mum feels like she might be just about keeping on top of things.
And some days… Mum does not.
Biff Chip and Kipper
Jeans Shopping
This is Mum.
Mum has reached the point where she can put off the horrid task no longer.
Mum has to buy a new pair of jeans.
Mrs May Loses It
This is Mrs May.
Out in the playground at the end of the school day one afternoon, a well-meaning bystander tells Mrs May how lucky she is to be a teacher, how teaching isn’t really a job, it’s a vocation, particularly with all those Long Holidays teachers get, why, it’s hardly like working at all!
Biff Chip and Kipper and the Glass of Wine
This is Mum.
Mum has had one of those days where, frankly, she does not know what ever possessed her to merrily hurl her contraceptive pill down the toilet and let Dad anywhere near her with his swollen appendage in order for them to breed.
Mrs May and the End of Half Term
This is Mrs May.
Mrs May has made it to the end of another half term.
During this half term, Mrs May’s fixed smile has never wavered.
Biff, Chip and Kipper and the Sunday Night
It is Sunday evening.
This is Mum.
Mum is looking forward to a quiet relaxing evening in front of the television.
Biff, Chip and Kipper and the Sunny Day
It is a sunny day.
This is Mum.
“Let’s all go outside and have a family day in the sun,” says Mum.
Maternal Mental Health Week
This is Mum.
Mum remembers back to when Biff and Chip were babies.
It was not a fun time.
Biff Chip and Kipper and the Good Night’s Sleep
This is Mum.
Mum is fucking exhausted.
Mum is fucking exhausted because she last had an unbroken night’s sleep more than seven years ago.
Biff Chip and Kipper and the Fronted Adverbials
This is Biff.
This is Chip.
This is Biff and Chip’s homework.
Biff and Chip are required to write down ten examples of fronted adverbials.
Biff and Chip have not a fucking clue what a fronted adverbial is.
