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Jeans Shopping

July 24, 2018 / aswadmt / 1 Comment

This is Mum.

Mum has reached the point where she can put off the horrid task no longer.

Mum has to buy a new pair of jeans.

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Of Clothes Shopping

March 16, 2018March 4, 2018 / aswadmt / 1 Comment

Dear Clothing Manufacturers,

Hi there! Me again.

So, tonight I’d like to talk to you about a very important subject. I’ll do my best to outline this as clearly and concisely as I possibly can.

WHAT THE ACTUAL BUGGERING FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR BASTARD CLOTHES SIZING, YOU FUCKWITTING COCKWOMBLES?

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I Know, I Need To Stop Talking

I Know, I Need To Stop Talking

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#lockdown #bankholiday #notafuckingclue

#lockdown #bingo

Celebrations of any kind are somewhat strange in lockdown, and today I'm celebrating this little book turning two months old. Clearly, when I wrote it, the fact that we would be facing global fucking chaos, just weeks into its publication, was not on my radar even slightly 🤦😂 However, I did want to mark its two month anniversary...and I also wanted to say thank you. . I wanted to say thank you to every single one of you who has supported me, as I have been given this incredible opportunity to live out my dream of writing an Actual Book. (TWO Actual Books!!) I know that my books won't be for everyone: they are very sweary, they are much longer than a brief Facebook post, and I also appreciate that the price of a book, particularly right now, is simply not something that everyone is able to stretch to. I more than understand that, and I will never, ever stop producing free content on here that absolutely everyone can access. . But regardless of whether or not you are a reader of my books, you have all supported me, and continue to do so, every single time you like and comment and share my little rambling posts on here, and I am grateful for that like you cannot even imagine ♥️ . I did also want to do a particular shout out to every one of you who has been kind enough to leave me a book review, on Amazon, Good Reads, or anywhere else. The bit no one tells you about writing a book is that waiting to hear what other people think about it...is absolutely fucking terrifying 😂 Until I wrote a book I had genuinely no clue how much reviews meant to authors; in fact until I wrote a book, I don't think I had ever submitted a book review in my life! It's only now, that I realise that the "ooh, that was really good" (or even the "fucking hell, that was a bore!") in my head was no use to the author whatsoever unless I chose to share it! I read every single one of my reviews, and I have learnt so much from them, they mean the absolute world to me, and so, to every one of you who has been kind enough to share your thoughts with me, I just wanted you to know how utterly grateful I am ♥️ . So happy two month anniversary, little book ♥️ . #booksofinstagram #winningatlife

#lockdown #selfimprovement #nailingit

I'm about to make the most controversial and unpopular statement I've ever made on here. . I don't like roast dinners. . I know, I know. What kind of human being even am I? I must have eaten hundreds of roast dinners over the years, lovingly cooked for me by someone else, and I can honestly say, I just don't get what the appeal is. . As a result, while I'm a pretty good cook, we've never had a roast at home...until now. Under severe peer pressure from my kids, deprived of their regular roasts round at grandparents...I took one for the team...and made my very first roast dinner (rated an unprecedented "19.5 out of 20" by Beth). . Yeah, I still don't get what all the fuss is about 😂 . . . . . . . #lockdown #roast #roastdinner

#lockdown #swimminglessons #WINNING

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Recent Posts

This one’s for my kids February 3, 2019
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Jeans Shopping July 24, 2018
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