I Know, I Need To Stop Talking

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Jeans Shopping

July 24, 2018 / aswadmt / 1 Comment

This is Mum.

Mum has reached the point where she can put off the horrid task no longer.

Mum has to buy a new pair of jeans.

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Of Clothes Shopping

March 16, 2018March 4, 2018 / aswadmt / 1 Comment

Dear Clothing Manufacturers,

Hi there! Me again.

So, tonight I’d like to talk to you about a very important subject. I’ll do my best to outline this as clearly and concisely as I possibly can.

WHAT THE ACTUAL BUGGERING FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR BASTARD CLOTHES SIZING, YOU FUCKWITTING COCKWOMBLES?

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I Know, I Need To Stop Talking

I Know, I Need To Stop Talking

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Have kids, they said. . It'll be fun, they said. . 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦 . #parenting

Whenever I've told people what I've had planned for my birthday over the last couple of years, they've always had a vague expression of surprise on their faces. I'm lucky enough to work for an organisation who gives everyone a paid day's holiday on their birthday, meaning I never have to spend mine sitting in gridlock on my morning commute or wading my way through back to back meetings. . The flip side of such generosity is that October is Mr IKINTST's busiest time at work, meaning he's not able to take the day off with me. With the kids in school, I think most people have expected me to book a spa day, or go shopping, or lie on the sofa drinking champagne. . Instead: I go for a walk. A long walk: 14 miles in total. I love to walk; there is something about being outside and moving which instantly makes my day better. And for the past couple of years, I've been lucky enough to be joined by one of my best friends in the world. . My dad. . And we walk our 14 miles, and we talk, and we talk, and we talk, and we talk, and we talk. . It is rare, these days, to have such an opportunity for such uninterrupted conversation. To just talk, and just be. I know how lucky I am to still have my dad around, to have the relationship that we do, and I don't take it for granted for a single solitary second. . It has been a really utterly perfect birthday; and for all those of you who may have birthdays - or, indeed, any free day - coming up, can I thoroughly recommend a long walk in picture perfect surroundings with one of your bestest people ever? . Because it was bloody wonderful 😊♥️

Aaaaand... it's that time of year again 🤦🤦🤦 . #christmasshopping #FUCKOFF

The most utterly brilliant, bonkers weekend, and I had every intention of writing you a blog post to tell you all about it, but apparently I'm instead going to spend my evening sourcing more food tech ingredients for Jamie and attempting to track down the PE kit he left on a bus on Friday (FMAL). So instead, here's a photo of me last night, and if every drink I drink in the future doesn't come with a side order of candyfloss then it will frankly be unacceptable in my eyes. . Hope you all had marvellous weekends; normal service - whatever the fuck that is - will be resumed tomorrow. . PS FYI, 7 hours in a car sat next to Beth is quite long. I may need another cocktail... 🤦😂

➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️ . #worldmentalhealthday #itsokaynottobeokay ♥️

Got in the car to take Beth to school this morning and started to test her on her most recent set of spellings. . "Mum, STOP IT." . "Oy! I'm trying to help you." . "Yes, well you can't do it yet." . "Why not?" . "Because I haven't turned my mind on yet." . "You have to turn your mind on?" . "Yes, I have to do it every morning. And I'm not doing it until I get to school, so you can stop asking me about spellings." . Well, that told me. . In other news... Birmingham/West Midlandy people... I AM COMING TO SEE YOU!!! THIS SATURDAY!!! And I cannot bloody wait; Birmingham was where I spent three years at drama school, it is my second home and it will frankly be v surreal to see it both a) sober and b) not wearing a unitard and a pair of tap shoes. If you're coming, please let me know, and if you're not yet coming but find yourself at a loose end and in the vicinity then please do! You can book tickets using the link below and I promise I will do my utmost not to be shit, and also not to fall over wearing ridiculously impractical shoes, although tbh the latter is pretty much a dead cert given my steadfast refusal to wear anything with a heel height lower than 5 inches... 🤦😂 . https://www.ticketsource.co.uk/whats-on/birmingham/town-hall/real-life-parenting-the-good-the-bad-and-the-funny/e-lvopoq . Oh, and even if you don't fancy coming to see me, then you should definitely come and see Liz Berry and Man vs Baby, who will both be a) funnier than me, and b) most definitely wearing more venue-appropriate footwear 👍 . @bhamlitfest @manversusbaby #birminghamliteraturefestival

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