#1 The noise. Oh my god, the noise. Once upon a time, Sunday mornings were quiet and tranquil times, and now it’s Mr Fecking Tumble and “I’m hungry/I’m thirsty/I’m pooing/I HATE YOU” from 4.56am as someone wakes you up by smashing a Tommee Tippee cup into the side of your head or presenting you with a nappy full of shit.
This is Mum.
Mum has been trying to get the children ready to leave the house since 6.27am that morning.
It is now 8.54am and the school gates will close in exactly six minutes.
This is Kipper.
Kipper has been awake since 5am watching violent 18 certificate movies which he has illicitly downloaded on the Sky box using the parental password he is not supposed to know.